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The one thing that will save your marriage is this: courageous vulnerability. 

In the beginning of this year, Chris and I were in a crazy stressed-out place emotionally. We both felt completely overwhelmed with life and all of the responsibilities that come with it.

We were carrying each other’s burdens and working as a team, but it was just us and Jesus. We needed more. 

I know that sounds like total heresy, but hear me out.

Jesus didn’t come and die just for you. He came and died for the church. For you, yes, but for all of us. Together.

There is a significant difference between the two because when we try to live out this life on our own, it is too heavy. It is too much. We were meant for each other. We were meant to carry our burdens in community.

Too often, we are walking this road alone. Just you and your spouse. You need more people. You need people that love Jesus and love you, and are going to help carry the load. 

Here’s how it changed for us: one crazy act of vulnerability. 

We went with some friends out of town to celebrate Chris’s birthday in January, and after everybody else went to bed, Chris was talking with his friend and just laid it all bare. 

He told him things that only I knew, and in that one moment of courageous vulnerability, not only did he lift a giant weight off of his shoulders and mine, he deepened his friendship and created a brotherly bond that will not ever be broken. 

From there, he and his friend started talking every day. They have studied the bible together. They hold each other accountable to loving God, and loving their families well.

And, in his example, I have stepped out to deepen my relationships. To be honest, I don’t have a friendship in my life like his, but I am praying and trusting that God will provide it.

That one courageous act changed everything. We’re about to start 2017, and y’all, we are in a tremendously different place than we were a year ago.

So, I encourage you, wherever you’re at today to take a step toward vulnerability, and encourage your spouse to do the same. Reach out for Jesus first, for each other, and for the community he gave you in His church.

What has changed everything in your life or marriage?